It's been more than a year

Yups - I have to admit it was difficult to me to come to terms with his passing.

According to the Kubler-Ross model, there are 5 mental stage in which people deal with grief and tragedy, and they are :-

1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance

I don't know about you guys but I was constantly stuck in the 3rd and 4th loop, feeling depressed with what has happened but at the same time, saying that it was something that was totally outside my control. There have always been this slight regret that I am working overseas - if not I would've been there.

That was until my illness made a 180 degree flip on that school of thought -instead of being a curse, being here in Sheffield for the type of treatment that I'm having is just a true blessing.

It gave me a realisation that Allah has already made plans for us and we are just mere pawns in the greater master plan.

Allah has truly given me a second chance & I know I have to move on. I have to accept his passing and remind myself that one day, my turn will come. I will continuously remind myself that life on earth is only just a preparation for the hereafter.

It's been a while but i think I dreamt of him last night. Mak always said that if I do dream of arwah bapak, it's because I've not prayed enough for him lately.

So I will read the Quran for him tonight, insyallah.

One Year and 3 Days after..

Believe it or not, it has been a year since the passing of our father.

it has been a year since Burhan and Lan last seen him in flesh. It has been a year and more since Zul and I last seen him.

A lot has happened since then. Syukur alhamdulillah Regina about to masuk her first year by the end of this month. Syukur alhamdulillah Burhan had finished his Inverness attachment. Syukur alhamdulillah Along and family are doing well. Syukur alhamdulillah Dol is getting better and Kak Dila has just started life as a full fledge doctor again. Syukur alhamdulillah Cha dpt mara (and it's all thanks to Lan's persistency of calling and pursuing... might be exaggerating on the "all" part but you got what i mean right?) Syukur alhamdulillah Mak had managed to embark on a sole journey to UK (though Ita was there with her... but Mak took care of everything herself withour relying on anyone the whole way) 

Unfortunately, nothing in the world is peachy and bright. A few deaths in our extended family follow as well. Arwah Mak Wang passed away a few months shortly after arwah bapak. To be more accurate November 30th, if I'm not mistaken. And just recently our great grandmother Arwah Tok Esah.

You would think that amongst the three, bapak would've surpassed them mortality-wise. But i guess it just shows how mysterious God's way and how it can take an unexpected turns as well in this path we call life.

Anyway, this is just as a filler as well as a reminder. Nothing much to write. Hope you guys will read this. 

p/s: btw, i read randomly that during the CNY festival, there was a fire breakout at Lorong Hj Sairan Sabtu. Mak Long's place alright ker?

Lotsa Luv,

Aishah

just a filler

was googling bapak's name. and i stumbled on this new blog; he was reminiscing how he met bapak and had been encouraged by him to further his studies. just thought you guys should know about it.

http://japanexperiences.blogspot.com/2008/08/condolences-to-dr-salim-sairans-family.html

and did you know, uncle che yem has a blog. but i think... its more to just let this out..

unc che yem's

A Painful Journey

Today Dol and I ventured from Sheffield to Aberdeen with the red Astra in our grand car handing over ritual. It was an enjoyable and at the same time a really painful journey. Two of the R & Rs that we stopped at were the same R & Rs that Mom, Dad, Cha and myself stopped at during our winter road trip in 2006. It was really hard when I pictured Dad on the dining table with us, eating fish and chips, mulling over the mat sallehs around us, over how nice the drive (and the driver of course!) was, over how we should go to the Lake district for our next road trip, over how he himself used to travel around UK, and many other things. I remember that Dad never failed to tell us the story of him taking the Freedom of Scotland* offer and how he, armed with only an open rail ticket and a backpack (maybe not, feel free to rectify) traversed through the Highlands from Stirling to Loch Ness and many other places. What was so interesting was the same twinkle in his eyes, the same sheer excitement he showed every single time he tells us that story of his. He would lean over closer to us, and as if we have never heard the story before, begin his tale. I hate it that I am never going to see that twinkle in his eyes again.

*Freedom of Scotland, as my memory serves me, was a promotion to students to encourage them to travel around Scotland, where upon paying an affordable fee, they are given an open rail ticket that allowed them to travel on any rail service around Scotland for a week. I believe Dad went for this one with his colleague arwah Khalid.

Doa untuk arwah....

I wonder, what do you guys pray for bapak?

In my case, its a matter of (1) ampunkan dosa (2) terima taubat (3) terima ibadat (4) keselesaan di alam barzakh (5) digolongkan antara orang muslimin di waktu Akhirat...

Personally, I find my prayers too short! Does anyone of you have a more detailed version that we all can share?

Balik Kampung

The short trip back to Tampok surfaced many wonderful memories from the past with him.

How at the R&R stop he would be the first to go to the toilet and then while waiting for us, stretch his arms after a long drive, look at people, and when everyone is out he would ask us "Dah siap?" before we continue. He would also quip about the funny things people do around him while he was waiting for us.

In the car the whole family would take turns making jokes, sometimes about each other! I remember the many times where we would crack a stupid joke, and he would just sit with a blank face and then said "Hmm..tak faham la." Then Cha and me would spend the next 5 minutes explaining the whole joke to him.

In Tampok, he always told me that when Arwah Fuang Ambok was alive, he would wake up early as usual to find a copy of the New Straits Times waiting for him at the verandah. The religious discussions with Fuang Mamak were always a highlight of his visit there. I remember one morning Nazmi, me and himself were watching TV at the lounge upstairs. While attentively watching the show on TV, he in an almost nonchalant manner, released a substantial amount of wind from the back! Complete with the sound effects! I remember Nazmi staring at him in wonder. And he just quietly smiled as he always does.

I will never forget him

A tribute...

This was forwarded by Lee See Kenn

A tribute from Mr Mark Lauby. Mark was a close colleague, previously attached with Electric Power Research Institute, Palo Alto, CA (a leading power-related research institute in the US). Mark has always liaised with TNBR on power-related research areas, but it was only during the late Dr Salim's tenure that firm collaboration took place, whereby TNBR engaged EPRI on a project in 2003, and EPRI subsequently engaged TNBR for their project in Delhi, India in 2005.

See Kenn,

I am shocked to hear of Dr. Salim's passing, who was fit and strong. I found him a true gentleman, in the strictest meaning of the words, who was open to other's thoughts and welcome ideas for change.

I feel a part of me has left with Dr. Salim. I send my sincerest sympathies to his family, who must find peace in the knowledge of his kind soul and warm heart.

He will be missed in this world, God take care of him I the next.

Warmest Regards,

Mark G. Lauby

Manager, Reliability Assessments

North American Electric Reliability Corporation (NERC)

116 - 390 Village Boulevard

Princeton, New Jersey 08540