It's been more than a year

Yups - I have to admit it was difficult to me to come to terms with his passing.

According to the Kubler-Ross model, there are 5 mental stage in which people deal with grief and tragedy, and they are :-

1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance

I don't know about you guys but I was constantly stuck in the 3rd and 4th loop, feeling depressed with what has happened but at the same time, saying that it was something that was totally outside my control. There have always been this slight regret that I am working overseas - if not I would've been there.

That was until my illness made a 180 degree flip on that school of thought -instead of being a curse, being here in Sheffield for the type of treatment that I'm having is just a true blessing.

It gave me a realisation that Allah has already made plans for us and we are just mere pawns in the greater master plan.

Allah has truly given me a second chance & I know I have to move on. I have to accept his passing and remind myself that one day, my turn will come. I will continuously remind myself that life on earth is only just a preparation for the hereafter.

It's been a while but i think I dreamt of him last night. Mak always said that if I do dream of arwah bapak, it's because I've not prayed enough for him lately.

So I will read the Quran for him tonight, insyallah.